My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
