put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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