dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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