YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And then my night got REAL pukey
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
