Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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