She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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