he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
