But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
