I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My bed smells like the plague
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
