First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
