YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize