yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
