3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize