if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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