She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
