One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize