i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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