One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just threw up on my dentist
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize