I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize