Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize