My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
