Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize