how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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