Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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