Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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