Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
