The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
