i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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