Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
