Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize