mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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