Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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