Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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