i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
