yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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