doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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