Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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