Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
