What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
