I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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