She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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