Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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