Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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