tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
