i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it glows. i had to have it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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