Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
