i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
