The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
