Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
