Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She bit a glass in half.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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