i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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