Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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