oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
