Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
