I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
