Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
