Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
