So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
