I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
