How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
