America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
