Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
