there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
